Disclosing to Parents
Thursday, September 11, 2014
2:07 PM
Elizabeth works a pediatrician and also teaches High School Sunday School.  She has strong relationships with a particular group of young ladies who come very consistently.  Amy, a 17 year old Junior in High School, called Elizabeth late one Friday night.  "I need help," Amy said, "I don't know where else to turn.  I think I'm pregnant."  Elizabeth quickly turned on the physician side of her brain and asked a few pertinent questions.  She explained to Amy that she needed to get an actual pregnancy test to be certain but, all the signs suggested that Amy ways about 10 weeks pregnant.  Remember, Elizabeth said, I'm a physician but I'm not your physician.  I'll help you as best I can as your Sunday School teacher and friend.  
As soon as she said that, Elizabeth thought back to the last meeting of youth volunteers.  They had gone through the procedures they were to follow if I child disclosed abuse, potential self-harm, or drug use.  The volunteers had clear guidelines to follow in those areas.  But, one of the youth sponsored had mentioned grey areas.  What about drinking?  What about sexuality?  They had even said, "what if a youth told one of us that she was pregnant or that he had gotten someone pregnant?  Are we supposed to share that with anyone?"  The conversation swirled awhile.  The youth minister didn't have solid answers saying that questions like that had to be decided in the moment but, it was clear to her that he thought they should bring him into those conversations.  
"I don't know what I'm going to do."  Amy said, "My Mom will insist that I keep the child but, my Dad will want me to have an abortion."  Amy explained that before her mother and father had met and married, Amy's mother had gotten pregnant, as a teenager.  Amy's mother made the decision she still regarded as the bravest and best decision she had ever made--she kept the child and raised her.  Amy's older sister, Theresa, was ten years older.  Now at age twenty-six, she was a college graduate, a registered nurse, married and the mother of a six month old baby.  Amy's mother glowed when she spoke of Theresa.  It was unthinkable to her that she could have done anything else.  Amy's mother equated abortion with murder.  Any time the topic of adoption was mentioned, Amy's mother spoke about how much joy she would have missed out on not being able to watch her daughter grow into the young lady she had become.
Amy's father often pointed out that Amy's mother had been lucky.  She had affluent and supportive parents herself.  Indeed, Elizabeth new Amy's grandparents.  They were kind, optimistic and encouraging people.  "No everyone has such family support."  Amy's father was emphatic that abortion was not only right in some cases necessary.  An unwanted pregnancy could stop plans in their tracks.  They often provided difficult financial strains for people.  This last consideration was particularly acute to Amy as her father had indeed recently been laid off from his job.  His severance package would see them to the end of the year but, she didn't know how the family's finances could withstand an additional person. 
"Ok," Elizabeth said, "do you know what you want to do?"  Amy started to cry, "I don't know.  I just don't know.  I've heard that there are programs that will cover, you know, the labor and stuff for girls if they put the child up for adoption.  If I'm pregnant, that's what I'd really want.  I don't think I could have an abortion but, I'm not ready to be a mother.  I see how happy the Johnsons are with baby Emma and I think that there are families out there that are ready to have a child but can't . . . I just don't think my Mom will accept that." 
What are the next steps for Elizabeth in the conversation with Amy?
What role, if any, does Elizabeth have in the conversation and decision-making with Amy and her family?
How should Elizabeth handle sharing the news of Amy's pregnancy with the youth minister or ministers at her church?
How would you advise Elizabeth to navigate the tension between her professional role as a physician and her church role as "Sunday School teacher and friend?"  